The Story of How Rikkaidai Died!
by x.X bored 2day X.x
Summary: .Extreme Crack. This is the death of Rikkaidai's regulars... and the policeman and the murderer! Warning: Insane randomness! .:Part of the Death Series:. ONESHOT


**We are feeling bored so we just came up with this. We are sorry if we offend anyone with this story. Our apologies! But we DID warn you! Anyway plz R&E&R!!! (read & enjoy & review!) **

**Warning: may contain crazy randomness, glasses eating, death, police, murderer, pulling head off and poison.**

**Warning 2: you will get a mad laughing fit if you read this!! XDXDXD**

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_**The story of how Rikkaidai died:**_

Seigaku gave Yukimura a heart attack and Yukimura died.

"Aww... my Mura bouchou!" Sanada cried. "How can you leave without me?! I m gonna join you!" So he locked himself in a locker which just HAPPENED to be there and farted... and he died of the stink of his own fart...

But sadly, Yukimura went to heaven and Sanada went to hell... Just joking... They both went to hell... sorry... just kiddin' again...

At that same morning, Kirihara went swimming in a lake, but unfortunately, he got stung by a cactus. (yeah... very funny, a cactus in a lake...)

Actually, the cactus was put in by Fuji. Okay, so he got stung by a cactus, slipped and got tangled in a mass of seaweed, got bitten by a fish...and died.

But this very morning was really unlucky for the Rikkaidai regulars. Jackal woke up and found a hair on his head!!! (OMG!! A HAIR ON HIS HEAD!! A HAIR ON _JACKAL_'S HEAD!!! OMGOMG!! A DISASTER!!! WORLD CATASTROPHY!!)

He tried to cut it off, but it was too bouncy and the scissors bounced off. He got so depressed that he started to pull off this piece of hair. But, by mistake, he pulled his whole head off.

Why? Because his hair was too good quality, and his head was too bad of a quality.

"Today, we confirmed the deaths of three Rikkaidai tennis team regulars." Said the news reporter. "But another Rikkaidai regular is missing so we are assuming that he is dead, too, though we haven't been able to discover his body yet."

Marui's eyes widened with disbelief. He was so shocked that he did not notice himself blowing a big bubble. The bubble popped and guess what? It got stuck on his nose and mouth and he suffocated to death. Poor him!!

At that some day, Niou was having a sleepover at Yagyuu's. He woke up early that morning and decided to watch some T.V. but as he sat on the sofa, he heard a loud crack under him. He found out that his big fat ass has cracked Yagyuu's precious glasses!!

"WAAH!!" Niou shouted. "I crushed his glasses!! I need to get rid of the evidence!!" So he decided to throw the broken pieces into the bin. But he decided not to cuz then Yagyuu would see it. Then he decided to burn it, but then decided not to, cuz there would be ashes leftover. Then he decided to throw the pieces out of the window, but decided not to cuz then Yagyuu would still see it. Finally, he decided to eat Yagyuu's broken glasses.

And guess what happened? He died!!

Yagyuu woke up and found Niou lying on the floor. Dead.

"WHICH OF YOU LOWLIFE CREATURES MURDERED MY FRIEND??" his voice caused an earthquake and the whole world collapsed! How terrifying!!(Just kidding) Yagyuu stormed out of the house in search of the murderer. He bumped into a police on the street.

"YOU!!!" Yagyuu shrieked, pointing a finger at the policeman. "YOU killed my friend! YOU murdered him! YOU lowlife creature! YOU—" Yagyuu paused. "I ran out of words..."

The policeman sweat dropped. But poor Yagyuu, he caught the policeman in a bad mood. So the police took out a gun, and guess what happened? He shot Yagyuu? No. The police decided to suicide. Want to know why? Because he graduated from Rikkaidai!!

Yagyuu seriously wanted to kill himself. So guess what? He decided to kill himself! He took the police's gun, then, guess what happened? He decided not to kill himself and kill the next person that come by.

So, he waited for a few hours and guess what happened? No one came by! Then, a miracle happened! Guess what happened? Someone came by!! So he decided to kill that person. But unlucky for him, that person was Harry Potter! (Nah! Joking!) So, that person was a murderer! An evil murderer! A bad and evil murderer!

"YOU!" Yagyuu screeched, pointing a finger at the murderer. "YOU killed my friend! YOU murdered him! YOU lowlife creature! YOU—" Yagyuu paused "AUGH!! I HATE RUNNING OUT OF WORDS!!"

The murderer was alarmed. Why? Because he DID murder someone! He just murdered Harry Potter! (Just kidding!) Then, the murderer took out a gun and guess what? He killed Yagyuu? No, he decided to kill Harry Potter! (No, joking again) he also decided to suicide!

Want to know why? Because he also graduated from Rikkaidai!!! Then, Yagyuu took out a gun and guess what? He decided to kill Yagyuu? No, he killed that stray cat that was lurking in the corner because it was getting on his nerves. After he killed the cat, he decided to shoot himself. But... the gun was out of bullets!!

So Yagyuu put in new bullets, and guess what happened? He shot himself?YES!!! YOU GOT IT RIGHT!! Want to know why? Because he WANTED to graduate from Rikkaidai!!

After Yanagi heard what happened, he twitched... and he twitched again...and he twitched again! Then, he twitched 1,234,567,890 times!! (YAY! World record!! ... Is he human?...)

Then guess what happened? He died of twitching? No, he found a mouse in his room!!! So he decided to poison the mouse!! Yanagi put some poison in a doughnut and left it outside the mouse hole. Then, guess what happened? No. we are not gonna say guess what happened... Fine... Guess what happened? Yanagi was so hungry that he ate the poisoned doughnut!! And guess what happened to him? He...uhh...ahh...umm... DIED!!

...So far, all the Rikkaidai regulars, one police, one murderer and one Harry Potter died (Just kiddin'). All these deaths were lead by one death. The death of Yukimura, right? But guess what? Actually... Yukimura didn't die!! He just fainted of a heart attack.

"Oh! My team!" Yukimura cried when he woke up. And...he died of another heart attack. He died, really. He seriously died this time. He died, okay?

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Moral of the story: NEVER EVER graduate from Rikkaidai!!! **


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